I’m starting to realize regret isn’t the horrible monster I once believed it to be. More and more, I’m starting to see regret as a natural and potentially useful byproduct of introspection. I think most of us choose to see it negatively because we typically attach a value judgement to it and, therefore, see ourselves as lesser for having it.

Of late, I’m choosing to regret objectively, to see the things I could have done or could have been without harshly judging myself for not having chosen differently. The toughest part is to be kind to yourself without letting yourself off the hook for not having been better. I’m sure I’ll refine it as time goes on but for now, I’m happy with the choice.

Current conclusions:

- I’m not as brave as I think I am

- I’m too accommodating to those I really care about

- I’m not honest with myself about what I really want

- I don’t give myself enough time and room to build a support structure

- I’m terrible at asking for help

And now, I can find a path beyond these things. The price I payed for not realizing them sooner is not a price I want to pay ever again.